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  1. Today
  2. Hell, if we're gonna get older we may as well go all out and bring back Larry Robinson.
  3. #1
  4. #2
  5. Yesterday
  6. 1. I just started school. 2. I've never been stung by a wasp. 3. I've been to 2 concerts this year. 4. My sister recently got engaged.
  7. Nope! It's #3.
  8. Miami Hurricanes and Florida have agreed to play in 2024 and 2025.
  9. Seattle 3 Toronto 3, bottom of the seventh inning.
  10. Los Angeles Chargers safety Derwin James will surgery for a stress fracture in his foot and will be out until at least November.
  11. Justin Thomas leads in the third round of the BMW Championship at -15. He is -5 through nine holes.
  12. Detroit 2 Tampa Bay 0. Three pitchers combine to shut down Tampa on five hits with a combination of fastballs and sliders. Defensive plays by the infield helped turn two double plays and Tampa had a runner caught stealing second.
  13. Carolina and defenseman Chase Priskie have agreed to a two year $1.665 million contract.
  14. I would take Keith for Hudon + Juulsen + Evans. It would give them 2 more forwards with potential and another decent RHD plus 2 players with NHL experience. It frees up a RHD spot for one of our prospects should they force their way onto the team out of camp. Also gets us a true #1 LHD albeit for 4 years but solidifies that side until we have a prospect step up and we don't have to rush them either. Even if Keith doesn't want to move there are other trades there that are just as lucrative.
  15. ^^^^LOL
  16. I agree it does make some sense ..Chicago has all left hand shooting d-men and only 2 right shots , only 10 forwards signed and about 3.3 million in cap space ...I cant imagine the flak Bergy would get in letting go of a prospect ( +Hudon? ) and taking on a 36 yr old with 4 years left but Montreal could also throw in a 2nd or 3rd rounder if Chicago took a little back on salary ( say 1.5 )….Keith still has some wheels and is an offensive left hand shot ...worth a look to me as the cupboard is fairly stocked right now ..why not ?..if Keith would be willing to sign off and he could also be dealt at deadline to a desperate team needing to make a splash if things didn't pan out .
  17. Last week
  18. Michigan right tackle Andrew Stueber will be out indefinitely with a leg injury.
  19. New York Jets linebacker Avery Williamson has torn ACL and will likely miss the season.
  20. Los Angeles Chargers safety has stress fracture in his foot and will be evaluated.
  21. Hideki Matsuyama leads in the second round of the BMW Championship at -12.
  22. Seattle 7 Detroit 2. Pitching continues to be a problem as Seattle pounded out 14 hits.
  23. Clinton, Iowa - A woman drives through a red light and is immediately chase. She then calls the sheriff's office to report her car had been stolen, the woman police were chasing. She was stopped with the Stop Sticks.
  24. ^^^^ All hilarious, 52
  25. The Artificial Intelligence Quantum Computer stood at the end of the most famous computer company's production line. At which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The CEO stepped forward to give his prepared demo. "This" he proudly said "is the Artificial Intelligence Quantum Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it". The obligatory 'know-it-all' stepped forward from the group and asked "Where is my father?" There was the soft hum of powerful electronic gear going to the task. Screen lights lit and blinked, and within a couple of seconds the laser printer printed out a piece of paper: "Yacht trip in Phuket Island". The 'know-it-all' laughed "Actually, my father is not alive! It was a trick question!" The CEO, quickly thinking on his feet, replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as the Quantum Computer was precise, perhaps a rewording of the question might work better. The 'know-it-all' said to the Quantum Computer "Where is my mother's husband?" Again, the hum of the powerful electronic brain filled the room. After a second, the laser printer whirred to life. The paper said "Dead. But your father is still on a yacht in Phuket".
  26. Donald Trump meets with the Queen. He asks her "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?" "Well" says the Queen "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people". Trump frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?" The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle". The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send Theresa May in here, would you?" Theresa May walks into the room. "Yes, my Queen?" The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Theresa. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?" Without pausing for a moment, Theresa answers "That would be me". "Yes! Very good" says the Queen. Back at the White House, Trump asks to speak with Vice President Mike Pence. "Mike, answer this for me. Your mother and father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure" says the Vice President. "Let me get back to you on that one". Mike Pence goes to his advisers and asks everyone, but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognises General McMasters' shoes in the next stall. Mike shouts "General! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and your father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it? General McMaster yells back "That's easy. It's me!" Mike Pence smiles. "Thanks!" and goes back to the Oval Office to speak with Trump. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's General McMaster". Trump gets up, stomps over to Mike Pence, and angrily yells into his face "No, you idiot! It's Theresa May!"
  27. Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, Orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the corner of the room drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, he went back to the bar and ordered three more. The barman says "You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it. Your pint would taste better if you bought one at a time". Patrick replies "Well now, I have two brodders, one is in America and de odder in Australia and here I am in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised dat we'd drink dis way to remember de days we all drank togedder". The barman admits that this is a nice custom and says no more. Patrick becomes a regular customer and always drinks the same way - ordering three pints and drinking a sip out of each in turn, until they are finished. One day, he comes in and orders just two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he goes back to the bar for the second round, the barman says "I don't want to intrude on your grief but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss". Patrick looks confused for a moment, then the penny drops and he starts to laugh "Oh no" he says "Bejesus, everyone is fine! Tis me... I've quit drinking!"
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