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rosalie52
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Good one Clues.

NEW YORK, - An ex-con allegedly tried to rob two people in New York, police said, but didn't notice his intended victims were police officers -- in uniform.

Police said 33-year-old Jermaine Washington allegedly was so intent on robbing someone Saturday that he pulled a fake handgun on the two armed police officers as they walked through Riverside Park, The New York Daily News said.

"It was stupid criminal tricks," a police source said. "The guy didn't even look to see who was coming."

After Washington allegedly pulled his fake gun, the two officers drew their real weapons and Washington surrendered after a short but tense standoff.

Takes all kinds,,,, :lol:

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Good one Clues.

NEW YORK, - An ex-con allegedly tried to rob two people in New York, police said, but didn't notice his intended victims were police officers -- in uniform.

Police said 33-year-old Jermaine Washington allegedly was so intent on robbing someone Saturday that he pulled a fake handgun on the two armed police officers as they walked through Riverside Park, The New York Daily News said.

"It was stupid criminal tricks," a police source said. "The guy didn't even look to see who was coming."

After Washington allegedly pulled his fake gun, the two officers drew their real weapons and Washington surrendered after a short but tense standoff.

Takes all kinds,,,, :lol:

Ha, nice.

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For those of you who haven't seen this movie... It's a classic.

Harlem Nights with Eddie Murphy.

Reading a few of the posts about dumb criminals made me think of the bank robbery scene. First, they rob a bank that's been closed for 5 years, then they rob a jeweler (I believe), trying to get out they beat on the door for 5 mins... Only to find out they were pushing the door instead of pulling it. :lol: :lol: :lol:

This probably should be in the movie thread, but I thought it was fitting.

:lol:

Ahh, Thanks

I was thinking maybe Nicorrette inhaler

I was thinking it was a cigarette that gave you a shock every time you took a haul. :lol:

Sounds dumb, but it would probably be work. By the 3rd haul, you'd seriously be thinking of quitting.

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For those of you who haven't seen this movie... It's a classic.

Harlem Nights with Eddie Murphy.

Reading a few of the posts about dumb criminals made me think of the bank robbery scene. First, they rob a bank that's been closed for 5 years, then they rob a jeweler (I believe), trying to get out they beat on the door for 5 mins... Only to find out they were pushing the door instead of pulling it. :lol: :lol: :lol:

This probably should be in the movie thread, but I thought it was fitting.

I was thinking it was a cigarette that gave you a shock every time you took a haul. :lol:

Sounds dumb, but it would probably be work. By the 3rd haul, you'd seriously be thinking of quitting.

But how would people buy that :lol:

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Utica, New York - After appearing on the city police department's 10 most wanted list, a fugiive taunts police on Facebook to catch him if they can. The police took him up on it. He had been wanted on domestic assault charges and harassment of his former girlfriend.

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SAD NEWS - Please join me in remembering YET ANOTHER great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Dough Boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and traumatic complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Dough Boy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough, Jane Dough,, plus they had one in the Oven. Services were held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes

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SAD NEWS - Please join me in remembering YET ANOTHER great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Dough Boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and traumatic complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Dough Boy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough, Jane Dough,, plus they had one in the Oven. Services were held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes

The first sentence got me all confused for a second there.

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Susie's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Things looked grim, but she was by his bedside every single day. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for her to come close to him. She pulled the chair close to the bed and leaned her ear close to be able to hear him.

"You know" he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, "you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you stuck right beside me. When my business went under, there you were. When we lost the house, you were there. When I got shot, you stuck with me. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. "And you know what?"

"What, dear?" she asked gently, smiling to herself.

"I think you're bad luck."

No kidding eh? :lol:

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For those of you who haven't seen this movie... It's a classic.

Harlem Nights with Eddie Murphy.

Reading a few of the posts about dumb criminals made me think of the bank robbery scene. First, they rob a bank that's been closed for 5 years, then they rob a jeweler (I believe), trying to get out they beat on the door for 5 mins... Only to find out they were pushing the door instead of pulling it. :lol: :lol: :lol:

This probably should be in the movie thread, but I thought it was fitting.

I was thinking it was a cigarette that gave you a shock every time you took a haul. :lol:

Sounds dumb, but it would probably be work. By the 3rd haul, you'd seriously be thinking of quitting.

Speaking of dumb criminals, there was a case of some guy who robbed a bank and ran out of gas a half mile after leaving the scene of the crime.

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What Do You Want?:

Married couple is traveling down interstate 66 doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over and says, "Honey, we've been married for 14 good years, but now I want a divorce." The husband says nothing but increases their speed to 60 mph. She says, "Don't be trying to talk me out of it, because I've been seeing someone else. Again the husband says nothing but speeds up as his anger increases. She says, "I want the house with all the contents." Again the husband speeds up some more. Now he is doing 70 mph. "The kids too." The husband just keeps driving little faster, faster and now he is up to 80 mph. She says, "I want the car, checking account, and all the credit cards too." The husband says nothing but slowly starts veering towards a upcoming bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Anything you want?" Husband says, "No, believe I've got everything I need." "Really? What's that?" Just before they hit the piling wall at 90 mph, "Husband says "I've got the airbag!" ...

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What Do You Want?:

Married couple is traveling down interstate 66 doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over and says, "Honey, we've been married for 14 good years, but now I want a divorce." The husband says nothing but increases their speed to 60 mph. She says, "Don't be trying to talk me out of it, because I've been seeing someone else. Again the husband says nothing but speeds up as his anger increases. She says, "I want the house with all the contents." Again the husband speeds up some more. Now he is doing 70 mph. "The kids too." The husband just keeps driving little faster, faster and now he is up to 80 mph. She says, "I want the car, checking account, and all the credit cards too." The husband says nothing but slowly starts veering towards a upcoming bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Anything you want?" Husband says, "No, believe I've got everything I need." "Really? What's that?" Just before they hit the piling wall at 90 mph, "Husband says "I've got the airbag!" ...

:blink:

:lol:

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Susie's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Things looked grim, but she was by his bedside every single day. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for her to come close to him. She pulled the chair close to the bed and leaned her ear close to be able to hear him.

"You know" he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, "you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you stuck right beside me. When my business went under, there you were. When we lost the house, you were there. When I got shot, you stuck with me. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. "And you know what?"

"What, dear?" she asked gently, smiling to herself.

"I think you're bad luck."

No kidding eh? :lol:

:lol: :lol:

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I found an old joke book while cleaning out my basement. Now I don't know if the jokes are good and I just don't get them, or if they're just really stupid.

How do you kill an elephant?

Twist his trunk until it turns blue and kill him with a blue shotgun.

Why do elephants float down the river on their backs?

They don't want to get their tennis shoes wet!

What's the similarity between a plum and an elephant?

They're both purple, except for the elephant.

:mellow:

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I found an old joke book while cleaning out my basement. Now I don't know if the jokes are good and I just don't get them, or if they're just really stupid.

How do you kill an elephant?

Twist his trunk until it turns blue and kill him with a blue shotgun.

Why do elephants float down the river on their backs?

They don't want to get their tennis shoes wet!

What's the similarity between a plum and an elephant?

They're both purple, except for the elephant.

:mellow:

:blink: :blink: :blink:

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:blink: :blink: :blink:

^ Yah, that.

I don't get them. Is that how they are supposed to be funny? :huh:

Okay so it's not just me then. That's good to know. The entire book is pretty much like that.

Why do elephants wear sneakers while jumping from tree to tree?

They don't want to wake up their neighbours!

Why do elephants have long toenails on Friday?

Because their manicurists don't come until Saturday.

How does an elephant get in a tree?

He hides in an acorn and waits for a squirrel to carry him up.

:mellow:

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^ Yah, that.

I don't get them. Is that how they are supposed to be funny? :huh:

I didn't get the 1st one,,,,but I did the other 2. Tell them to a 5-9 year old,,,,and see what happens. :P

Anyway.

Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery.

If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark. (PS,,,,it's similiar to the elephant jokes)

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Grandma Ghost: My! But Gus Ghost has grown! The last time I saw him, he was just a little shiver.

Cousin Creepy: Yes, he certainly gruesome.

Gus Ghost: My teacher doesn't believe anything I tell her.

Cousin Creepy: How do you know?

Gus Ghost: She says she can see right through me.

Skeleton: It's going to rain today. I feel it in my bones.

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