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Are You Ready For A Good Laugh?


rosalie52
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A pastor, a doctor, and a politician were waiting one morning on the golf course for a particularly slow group of golfers ahead of them.
Politician: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!
Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!
Pastor: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him. Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?
George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.
The group was silent for a moment.
Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.
Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.
Politician: I don't get it. Why can't these jerks play at night?

 

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their child looks kind of strange so she decides to do a DNA test and finds out that the child is actually from completely different parents.
Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you
Husband: What’s up?
Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our kid
Husband: Well you don't’ remember, do you? When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had pooped. Then you said:- Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here. So I went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty one there.

 

 

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Highland Park, Illinois - Three men rob a Verizon store and speed away and are spotted by the police.  During the chase, they crash into adjacent parking lot to the police station.  One of them is immediately arrested and the other two run into the police station.  They were found hiding behind a vending machine in the police station lobby.  

 

 

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Westwood, Massachusetts - A 28 year man wanted for assault and battery leads police on a chase.  During the chase, he stops into a business and attempts to fill out a job application.  He was spotted and arrested and no job was given to the suspect.  The manager high-five a fellow employee in celebration.  

 

 

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2 hours ago, CANADIENS27 said:

Highland Park, Illinois - Three men rob a Verizon store and speed away and are spotted by the police.  During the chase, they crash into adjacent parking lot to the police station.  One of them is immediately arrested and the other two run into the police station.  They were found hiding behind a vending machine in the police station lobby.  

 

 

I live in Highland Park and I didn't hear about it.:4322:

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Staten Island, New York - At a midnight sale of these crooks pose as fake cops with badges to purchase copies of Grand Theft Auto V game.  They even came with a phony police with sirens and lights flashing and cut in front of the line.  After leaving the mall, our suspects sped away and made an illegal U-turn in front of an actual cop in an unmarked car.  

 

 

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Long Island, New York - A thief breaks into a Mexican restaurant and steals $100.  But he stays and cooks a meal consisting of ingredients such as chicken and shrimp.  The owner said he did an outstanding preparing the meal.  While the suspect was cooking, he periodically changed to clean gloves.  Afterward, he washed and dried the dishes and wiped down the counter and tables.  He finished by putting money into the tip jar.  All of which was caught on camera and the owner said if he wasn't a thief, he would have hired the suspect immediately.  

 

 

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Florida - Two men get arrested a Taco Bell drive through when they didn't like having to pull up the window to wait for their food to be cooked.  The reason so the line wouldn't be held up.  The suspects decided to remain where they were with the attitude the other cars can wait where they are.  They got into an argument with the people directly behind and when the police arrived, the car was no where to be found.  The suspects were seen walking around the parking lot shouting obscenities.  

 

 

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