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rosalie52
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Senior Shoplifter
A cranky older woman "in her senior years" was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard
to the arresting officer who took her away. She complained and criticized everything and everyone throughout the process.
When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked her what she had stolen from the store.
The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches you old fool.”
The judge then asked why she had done it.
She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store."
The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.
She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?"
The judge answered patiently, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach."
As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak.
The judge said, "Yes sir, what do you have to add?"
The husband said meekly, "Your Honour, she also stole two cans of peas."
 

 
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58 minutes ago, CANADIENS27 said:

South Bend, Indiana - A 33 year old man robs a gas station of cigarettes, food, and drinks and forgot one important item.  He was found stuck by the side of a two lane road having run out of gas.  His alcohol level was also above the legal limit.  

 

 

:4224:Failure to plan is planning to fail. 

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Pasco County, Florida - A man tries to break into a car.  The only problem was it an unmarked sheriff's car occupied by deputies.  The previous night, he was caught on neighborhood security camera unsuccessfully breaking into cars.  He had already been on felony probation for burglary and criminal mischief.  

 

 

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