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A man thought that the best time to steal a car would be when the driver was getting out of it. He watched a woman stop and park her car. He approached the car, attempting to steal it. The only problem was that the driver was in the process of attaching an anti theft device to the steering wheel. She used it to beat him over the head. He was arrested and charged with robbery, assault and grand larceny.

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Laughing-Baby.gif

Oh this thread.

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A Pittsburgh police detective said a man tried to carjack his unmarked vehicle, then claimed it was all part of a movie shoot.

Detective Robert DiGiacomo told Channel 4 Action News reporter Marcie Cipriani that he was behind the wheel of a Chevrolet Impala in Shadyside, looking for a person involved in an assault on Sunday evening, when a young man climbed into the passenger side of the car.

"A white male wearing a black and gold tank top sits in the car, looks at me and tells me to get out of the car," said DiGiacomo.

DiGiacomo said he was able to pull out his gun and arrest Micah Calamosca, 21, of Shadyside, after Calamosca tried to order him out of his vehicle on Ivy Street.

Calamosca "said he was just filming the movie 'Batman,' and that him taking my vehicle was part of the script," according to the criminal complaint filed by DiGiacomo.

http://www.wtae.com/news/28721980/detail.html#ixzz1TvWZN1SA

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A Pittsburgh police detective said a man tried to carjack his unmarked vehicle, then claimed it was all part of a movie shoot.

Detective Robert DiGiacomo told Channel 4 Action News reporter Marcie Cipriani that he was behind the wheel of a Chevrolet Impala in Shadyside, looking for a person involved in an assault on Sunday evening, when a young man climbed into the passenger side of the car.

"A white male wearing a black and gold tank top sits in the car, looks at me and tells me to get out of the car," said DiGiacomo.

DiGiacomo said he was able to pull out his gun and arrest Micah Calamosca, 21, of Shadyside, after Calamosca tried to order him out of his vehicle on Ivy Street.

Calamosca "said he was just filming the movie 'Batman,' and that him taking my vehicle was part of the script," according to the criminal complaint filed by DiGiacomo.

http://www.wtae.com/news/28721980/detail.html#ixzz1TvWZN1SA

REAL Dumb,,, :lol:

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The following questions were asked in last year's GED examination.

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds')............and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons.

A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q. How is dew formed?

A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?

A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What are steroids?

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age?

A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. (At least they get to travel!)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A. Premature death.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?

A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant.)

Q How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen.)

A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..(*****!)

Q. What is the fibula?

A. A small lie. (This person has a career in politics awaiting!)

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?

A. Nearby.

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Cesarean section'.

A. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome .

Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit!)

Q. What is a terminal illness?

A. When you are sick at the airport.(Irrefutable!)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like tiny umbrellas.

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.

A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG,,,I'm guessing that he meant "do-dishes)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?

A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (Brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?

A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

These people vote -- They are the future generation --& they will breed. America Is in deep doodoo.

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Stupid 911 calls

The man who called 911 because he was turned away at a nightclub

A man in Beaverton, Oregon called 911 when a nightclub refused to let him inside. Employees at "The Caribe" nightclub in Beaverton said they didn't let Edgar Dieguez-Lopez inside because he was too intoxicated. Dieguez-Lopez then called 911 and complained to dispatchers that he was denied entry. Dispatchers explained through a translator that the club has a right to refuse service and asked him to wait outside for the police. Officers responded to the club and found cocaine inside one of Dieguez-Lopez's socks. He was arrested on drug charges.

The woman who called 911 because McDonald's didn't have McNuggets

Angered that her local McDonald's was out of Chicken McNuggets, a Florida woman called 911 three times to report the fast food "emergency." Latreasa Goodman, 27, called police to complain that a cashier would not give her a refund. When cops responded to the restaurant, Goodman told them, "This is an emergency. If I had known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one." She was arrested and the Police pressed charges for misusing the 911 system.

The woman who called 911 to ask a police officer on a date

A woman in Aloha, Oregon, called 911 because she thought a deputy who had just visited her house on a complaint was good-looking. After her neighbors reported a noise complaint, two sheriff's deputies knocked on Lorna Jeanne Dudash's door. One of them caught her eye. When they left, Dudash dialed 9-1-1 in a desperate attempt to get the deputy she described to dispatchers as “a cutie pie” to return.

She said that she didn't have an emergency; she just wanted the dispatcher to “throw the cute police back her way”. The “cute” deputy returned, and, once he determined there was no legitimate emergency, he arrested Dudash for misusing 9-1-1. She now faces a fine of up to several thousand dollars and up to a year in jail.

The woman who called 911 after getting locked inside her own car

A Florida woman called 911 because she was locked inside her car. Turns out all she needed to do was manually pull up the lock on the door.

The unidentified woman was parked at a Walgreen's store in Kissimmee. "My car will not start. I'm locked inside my car," the unidentified woman said. "Nothing electrical works. And it's getting very hot in here, and I'm not feeling well." The dispatcher then suggested pulling up the lock. The woman tried it and was successfully able to open the door.

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The following questions were asked in last year's GED examination.

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds')............and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons.

A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q. How is dew formed?

A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?

A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What are steroids?

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age?

A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. (At least they get to travel!)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A. Premature death.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?

A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant.)

Q How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen.)

A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..(*****!)

Q. What is the fibula?

A. A small lie. (This person has a career in politics awaiting!)

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?

A. Nearby.

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Cesarean section'.

A. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome .

Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit!)

Q. What is a terminal illness?

A. When you are sick at the airport.(Irrefutable!)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like tiny umbrellas.

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.

A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG,,,I'm guessing that he meant "do-dishes)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?

A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (Brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?

A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

These people vote -- They are the future generation --& they will breed. America Is in deep doodoo.

No way is this real, there were answers like this from grade school kids and the moon water sun tide thingy, had the exact same answer in both :blink:

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The following questions were asked in last year's GED examination.

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds')............and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons.

A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q. How is dew formed?

A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?

A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What are steroids?

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age?

A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. (At least they get to travel!)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A. Premature death.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?

A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant.)

Q How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen.)

A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..(*****!)

Q. What is the fibula?

A. A small lie. (This person has a career in politics awaiting!)

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?

A. Nearby.

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Cesarean section'.

A. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome .

Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit!)

Q. What is a terminal illness?

A. When you are sick at the airport.(Irrefutable!)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like tiny umbrellas.

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.

A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG,,,I'm guessing that he meant "do-dishes)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?

A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (Brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?

A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

These people vote -- They are the future generation --& they will breed. America Is in deep doodoo.

Thanx Kinot, I needed that. I had people in the shop crying when I read this out.

This can't be real. At least I hope not. :unsure:

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:lol:

Say FS, if I wanted a tatoo....as a member here do I get a free one from you?

HRF was giving out free ones at the last party over at CRB's house.

This was one of the better ones...

BradGibsonP1DaillyPS.jpg

It was a tat of him visiting Markov's house but as you can see,,,,,he messed up on the jersey number. :lol:

He does his best work under the influence. :lol: :lol: :P

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We had an incident with a woman not getting Chicken McNuggets. She tried to attack the manager.

When I worked in fast food we had a person come through and ask for a McLobster (we weren't a McDonalds). I was on Drive Thru and told them to take a McLeft and get one at the right McLocation.

My boss was laughing pretty hard but had to tell me not to do that again.

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:lol:

Say FS, if I wanted a tatoo....as a member here do I get a free one from you?

Actually, we have a new 19 yr old apprentice who just started with us. She's going to need a few people to tattoo (for free), if you're interested send me a message.

From me, you'll get all the weird, bizarre stuff... Such as scarification, implants, branding, etc...

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Albuquerque, New Mexico - The city mayor admits to being drunk when he signed nine contracts with a California architecture firm which is suing for $1 million dollars. He said he signed after three hours of drinking with executives of that firm andacknowledged it wasn't the best time to sign a contract.

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Plaistow, New Hampshire - A remorseful thief who stole a woman's wallet a supermarket knocks on her door to return her $90 and a GPS system, and a letter of appology and fled. The wallet was found at a Massachusetts post office. The thief, however, will still face charges once he is found.

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