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rosalie52
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This just in from CNN.

For those of you who have texting capabilities, you (males at least) can now have a girlfriend. The only problem,,is that she is a fake girlfriend. You give her the name. You can go to a site, and you will see this. It's all above board, and nothing risque is sent to you.

" Save XXX-XXX-XXXX (I blocked out the number) to your phone under your "girlfriend's" name.

When you're out with your friends, send a text to the FakeGirlfriend number.

FakeGirlfriend will respond with a random girlfriend-esque message.

Tell everyone how great your "girlfriend" is. "

:lol: How lonely do you have to be?

I heard about that. That's just.. weird.

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Guest habs1952

1 Washington 7 7 0 0 14 30 14 5-0-0 2-0-0 7-0-0 Won 7

2 Pittsburgh 10 6 2 2 14 30 22 3-1-1 3-1-1 6-2-2 Won 3

3 Toronto 7 5 1 1 11 24 23 4-0-1 1-1-0 5-1-1 Won 1

4 Buffalo 7 5 2 0 10 20 13 1-1-0 4-1-0 5-2-0 Lost 1

5 Philadelphia 7 4 2 1 9 23 19 1-2-1 3-0-0 4-2-1 Lost 2

6 Florida 7 4 3 0 8 18 18 2-1-0 2-2-0 4-3-0 Won 1

7 Tampa Bay 8 3 3 2 8 25 27 2-1-0 1-2-2 3-3-2 Won 2

8 Carolina 8 3 3 2 8 22 27 1-1-0 2-2-2 3-3-2 Lost 1

9 New Jersey 6 3 2 1 7 13 16 2-1-1 1-1-0 3-2-1 Lost 1

10 NY Rangers 5 2 1 2 6 12 11 0-0-0 2-1-2 2-1-2 Won 2

11 NY Islanders 6 3 3 0 6 14 14 3-1-0 0-2-0 3-3-0 Lost 2

12 Boston 8 3 5 0 6 19 19 2-4-0 1-1-0 3-5-0 Lost 1

13 Ottawa 8 3 5 0 6 24 34 3-2-0 0-3-0 3-5-0 Won 2

14 Winnipeg 7 2 4 1 5 16 25 2-1-0 0-3-1 2-4-1 Won 1

15 Montreal 7 1 4 2 4 17 24 0-2-2 1-2-0 1-4-2 OT 1

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1 Washington 7 7 0 0 14 30 14 5-0-0 2-0-0 7-0-0 Won 7

2 Pittsburgh 10 6 2 2 14 30 22 3-1-1 3-1-1 6-2-2 Won 3

3 Toronto 7 5 1 1 11 24 23 4-0-1 1-1-0 5-1-1 Won 1

4 Buffalo 7 5 2 0 10 20 13 1-1-0 4-1-0 5-2-0 Lost 1

5 Philadelphia 7 4 2 1 9 23 19 1-2-1 3-0-0 4-2-1 Lost 2

6 Florida 7 4 3 0 8 18 18 2-1-0 2-2-0 4-3-0 Won 1

7 Tampa Bay 8 3 3 2 8 25 27 2-1-0 1-2-2 3-3-2 Won 2

8 Carolina 8 3 3 2 8 22 27 1-1-0 2-2-2 3-3-2 Lost 1

9 New Jersey 6 3 2 1 7 13 16 2-1-1 1-1-0 3-2-1 Lost 1

10 NY Rangers 5 2 1 2 6 12 11 0-0-0 2-1-2 2-1-2 Won 2

11 NY Islanders 6 3 3 0 6 14 14 3-1-0 0-2-0 3-3-0 Lost 2

12 Boston 8 3 5 0 6 19 19 2-4-0 1-1-0 3-5-0 Lost 1

13 Ottawa 8 3 5 0 6 24 34 3-2-0 0-3-0 3-5-0 Won 2

14 Winnipeg 7 2 4 1 5 16 25 2-1-0 0-3-1 2-4-1 Won 1

15 Montreal 7 1 4 2 4 17 24 0-2-2 1-2-0 1-4-2 OT 1

Wrong thread. I'm not laughing. :(

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1 Washington 7 7 0 0 14 30 14 5-0-0 2-0-0 7-0-0 Won 7

2 Pittsburgh 10 6 2 2 14 30 22 3-1-1 3-1-1 6-2-2 Won 3

3 Toronto 7 5 1 1 11 24 23 4-0-1 1-1-0 5-1-1 Won 1

4 Buffalo 7 5 2 0 10 20 13 1-1-0 4-1-0 5-2-0 Lost 1

5 Philadelphia 7 4 2 1 9 23 19 1-2-1 3-0-0 4-2-1 Lost 2

6 Florida 7 4 3 0 8 18 18 2-1-0 2-2-0 4-3-0 Won 1

7 Tampa Bay 8 3 3 2 8 25 27 2-1-0 1-2-2 3-3-2 Won 2

8 Carolina 8 3 3 2 8 22 27 1-1-0 2-2-2 3-3-2 Lost 1

9 New Jersey 6 3 2 1 7 13 16 2-1-1 1-1-0 3-2-1 Lost 1

10 NY Rangers 5 2 1 2 6 12 11 0-0-0 2-1-2 2-1-2 Won 2

11 NY Islanders 6 3 3 0 6 14 14 3-1-0 0-2-0 3-3-0 Lost 2

12 Boston 8 3 5 0 6 19 19 2-4-0 1-1-0 3-5-0 Lost 1

13 Ottawa 8 3 5 0 6 24 34 3-2-0 0-3-0 3-5-0 Won 2

14 Winnipeg 7 2 4 1 5 16 25 2-1-0 0-3-1 2-4-1 Won 1

15 Montreal 7 1 4 2 4 17 24 0-2-2 1-2-0 1-4-2 OT 1

Also the wrong forum.

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Guest habs1952

I went onto the leaf board to talk about Gionta, they think he should be suspended for his hit. I found that funny, whats worse was I lost the argument due to my lack of knowledge of the rules :angry:

Leaf fans make up the rules as they go to suit themselves. :lol:

Do yourself a favor and read the rule book here: NHL Rules

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HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS (Actual writings from hospital charts)

1 . The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was

very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it

disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to

be depressed.

8 The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but

forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,

until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22 The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

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Every wedding has the part where the minister asks if anyone objects to the marriage of the couple. In this case, in Nevada, the mother of the groom had arrived to stop his son's wedding. There's no word why and groom had his mother taken to jail. The wedding, however, didn't take place, so the groom's mother got the last laugh.

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Actual Tombstone Quotes

"I Told You I Was Sick"

"It Is Me"

"Ma Loves Pa----Pa Loves Women,

Ma Caught Pa, With 2 In Swimmin,

Here Lies Pa"

"That's All Folks"

Mel Blanc.

"I Will Not Be Right Back After This Message"

Merv Griffin

Rex

"You Were Our Pride And Joy

Until That Oriental Kid

Asked To Wok Our Dog."

Robert Clay Allison (Gunfighter)

"He Never Killed A Man

That Didn't Need Killing"

"Here Lies The Body Of Jonathan Blake

Stepped On The Gas Instead Of The Brake"

From Boot Hill, Tombstone AZ.

"Here Lies Lester Moore

Four Slugs From a 44

No Les

No More"

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Nice one's Clues,Mike was trying to think of a Halloween costume,he got his HABS ball cap and

stick a bit of string on the peak, then stuck a cut out of the Leafs emblem on the string,put the cap on his head and started blowing it,called himself a leaf blower,wish I could have taken a pic and posted it on here but not possible,it was very funny.

GO HABS GO :lol: :lol:

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,,,,Luv the pics Clues :lol: :lol: :lol:

I love the last one. :lol:

Nice one's Clues,Mike was trying to think of a Halloween costume,he got his HABS ball cap and

stick a bit of string on the peak, then stuck a cut out of the Leafs emblem on the string,put the cap on his head and started blowing it,called himself a leaf blower,wish I could have taken a pic and posted it on here but not possible,it was very funny.

GO HABS GO :lol: :lol:

LOL that's amazing.

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Actual Tombstone Quotes

"I Told You I Was Sick"

"It Is Me"

"Ma Loves Pa----Pa Loves Women,

Ma Caught Pa, With 2 In Swimmin,

Here Lies Pa"

"That's All Folks"

Mel Blanc.

"I Will Not Be Right Back After This Message"

Merv Griffin

Rex

"You Were Our Pride And Joy

Until That Oriental Kid

Asked To Wok Our Dog."

Robert Clay Allison (Gunfighter)

"He Never Killed A Man

That Didn't Need Killing"

"Here Lies The Body Of Jonathan Blake

Stepped On The Gas Instead Of The Brake"

From Boot Hill, Tombstone AZ.

"Here Lies Lester Moore

Four Slugs From a 44

No Les

No More"

Heres some more I just stumbled upon. Ironically on Halloween.

"Here lies an atheist. All dressed up nice with nowhere to go."

"Amaryllis Jones 'I told you I was sick'"

"Eric W. Jr. 'I made a lot of deals in my life. I went in the hole with this one'"

"John thought he could outrun a train. He never was the brightest guy, in retrospect."

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A 92-year-old English woman was refused booze because she couldn't prove her age.

Diane Taylor couldn't produce the proper ID to buy her bottle of whisky at the One Stop Shop convenience store in Harlow, just northeast of London.

The great-grandmother tried showing everything from her bus pass and health card to her pacemaker, but staff still would not serve her, reports the Harlow Star.

"When I asked her (the clerk) exactly what she wanted, she said proof of age," Taylor told the paper. "But I don't have a passport or driving licence, so what did they expect me to do?"

The shop may be gun-shy after the town council revoked its licence to sell alcohol in 2007 then re-instated it when the owners promised to enforce a strict "no ID, no sale" policy for anyone buying alcohol.

A One Stop Shop spokesman told the paper that the store had to enforce the policy or risk losing its licence.

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