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Nanaimo, British Columbia - A hungry thief steals plastic display model sandwiches thinking they were the real things. Upon discovery, the thief pitched one across the street and pocketed the other. Both were eventually returned undamaged and as a result, the owner declined to press charges.

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Nanaimo, British Columbia - A hungry thief steals plastic display model sandwiches thinking they were the real things. Upon discovery, the thief pitched one across the street and pocketed the other. Both were eventually returned undamaged and as a result, the owner declined to press charges.

He stole plastic sandwiches :blink: , even tho he didn't know they were plastic. Has he not heard of dumpster-diving? :lol:

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A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him that, “no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes.” The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: ''Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes and if you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your little duck beak to the bar!''

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, ''Got any nails?''

Confused, the bartender says “no”!

''Good!'' says the duck. ''Got any grapes?”

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Men can play with toys all their life.

Men can wear shorts no matter what their legs look like.

Men have one wallet and one pair of shoes which are good for every season.

Men can choose whether or not to grow a mustache.

Men can "do" their fingernails with a pocket knife.

Men's bellies usually hide their large hips.

Chocolate is just another snack.

The whole garage belongs to them.

Weddings take care of themselves.

Men's last name never changes.

Everything on a man's face stays its original color.

Men only have to shave their faces and necks.

Men can keep the same hairstyle for years, even decades.

Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relative on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.

For men, wrinkles add character.

Men can go on a week's vacation and pack only one suitcase.

Men's new shoes don't cause blisters, or cut or mangle their feet.

Men don't have to stop and think which way to turn a screw.

Men have one mood all the time.

A wedding dress cost $5000. A tuxedo rental - 100 bucks

Men can open all their own jars.

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Guest habs1952

Men can play with toys all their life.

Men can wear shorts no matter what their legs look like.

Men have one wallet and one pair of shoes which are good for every season.

Men can choose whether or not to grow a mustache.

Men can "do" their fingernails with a pocket knife.

Men's bellies usually hide their large hips.

Chocolate is just another snack.

The whole garage belongs to them.

Weddings take care of themselves.

Men's last name never changes.

Everything on a man's face stays its original color.

Men only have to shave their faces and necks.

Men can keep the same hairstyle for years, even decades.

Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relative on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.

For men, wrinkles add character.

Men can go on a week's vacation and pack only one suitcase.

Men's new shoes don't cause blisters, or cut or mangle their feet.

Men don't have to stop and think which way to turn a screw.

Men have one mood all the time.

A wedding dress cost $5000. A tuxedo rental - 100 bucks

Men can open all their own jars.

Three cheers for men. Hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray! :)

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Tonya Fowler, a 45-year-old Georgia woman, was charged with unlawful use of 911 after police say she called dispatchers to complain about her mug shot from a prior arrest that was “on the front page of a Bad and Busted printing,” according to the incident report.

Story and pics of the woman, here. :lol:

http://www.hlntv.com/article/2012/07/20/nancy-grace-mugshot-day-woman-angry-over-mugshot-calls-911?hpt=hp_bn15

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Leicestershire, England - A 67 year gardener fights off two would be thieves using a trowel. The suspects were attempting to pilfer some petunias from a garden that also has two leylandii trees, two conifer trees, a pot of pansies, and a large tub of violas. A defense was to be expected since this gardener had won first prize in major contests twice in the last 12 months and was set to win a third. All this occured while his wife was attending the Wimbledom tennis matches, otherwise according to the gardener, the thieves would have had two people to contend with. Police are looking for the suspects who are between 20 and 30 years old and are of muscular build. At first, I thought he had fought them off with a towel, which would been even more bizarre.

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Guest archey

Bedford, Massachusetts - An 80 year old foils an attempted robbery at a grocery store by pelting the robbers with apples and mangoes. Stunned and not knowing what else to do, they aborted the robbery.

next it'll be french toast. :lol:

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Tonya Fowler, a 45-year-old Georgia woman, was charged with unlawful use of 911 after police say she called dispatchers to complain about her mug shot from a prior arrest that was “on the front page of a Bad and Busted printing,” according to the incident report.

Story and pics of the woman, here. :lol:

http://www.hlntv.com...911?hpt=hp_bn15

Another case of be careful what you wish for.

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I found this on a MC forum I belong to. It is in regard to Canada.

Kathy Madigan said it best.

"I like Canada, but I forget it's up there. I always think of Canada as our attic: you forget it's up there, and then you get up there, you're like, 'Wow, look at all this stuff."

:lol:

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Guest archey

Wentworth, North Carolina - A man who was being released from jail was arrested for refusing to leave because authorities wouldn't give him a ride to a motel. He faces second degree trepassing charges.

isn't north carolina where the guy wanted pizza and to marry paris hilton?

i don't know that i'd want to walk around alone there either. :lol:

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Guest archey

Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from Grace University and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately prostrate themselves, beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I am from the Creighton School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves, beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from Oklahoma State University and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

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isn't north carolina where the guy wanted pizza and to marry paris hilton?

i don't know that i'd want to walk around alone there either. :lol:

Definitely the right state. It might also be the same town. I just found that post. That incident occured in Belmont, North Carolina.

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Tampa, Florida - 18 year old drunk woman attempts to bribe police into giving back her fake ID. Police had noticed her weaving in and out of traffic and was pulled over. Officers also noticed an ID while searching the car the one the suspect handed over. While running a check, the officer discovered it was a fake from South Carolina. She refused sobriety tests and was arrested. It was during the trip to the station that she said it took several months to save for the ID and attempted to bribe the officer $15 to get the ID back. She was also charged with third degree fraud.

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Tampa, Florida - 18 year old drunk woman attempts to bribe police into giving back her fake ID. Police had noticed her weaving in and out of traffic and was pulled over. Officers also noticed an ID while searching the car the one the suspect handed over. While running a check, the officer discovered it was a fake from South Carolina. She refused sobriety tests and was arrested. It was during the trip to the station that she said it took several months to save for the ID and attempted to bribe the officer $15 to get the ID back. She was also charged with third degree fraud.

UH-HUH,,,,was she blond? :lol:

I wasn't sure if I should post this in the Olympics thread or here, but I decided that this is the place.

Man tries to swim from France to U.S. after catching Olympic fever

The Londoner didn't make it very far before having to be rescued with the assistance of a helicopter

Olympic athletes can make competing in their events look simple. But one man found out swimming definitely isn't as easy as Ryan Lochte, Michael Phelps or Julia Wilkinson make it seem.

A 34-year-old, unnamed London man was apparently so gripped by Olympic fever that he decided to swim from Biarritz, France to New York.

The man told his friends while they were on vacation in the beach town that he was going to deliver some Olympic spirit across the Atlantic and jumped in the water, according to the Daily Mail.

His friends thought he was joking, but because he was a strong swimmer they let him go. Even if he was a strong swimmer, he hadn't trained and set out without any equipment, according to Gapyear.

He swam out past the 300-metre buoys which marked the end of the legal swimming area and kept going. But he didn't make anywhere near America.

Because he was out of sight, the lifeguards had to call in a helicopter to find him. A diver dropped into the sea and explained it probably was a bad idea to swim across the Atlantic Ocean. But the man said he was a strong swimmer and felt up to it. A rescue dinghy arrived around the same time and brought the man back to shore.

:blink: :blink: :lol:

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