Clues Posted August 8, 2011 Report Share Posted August 8, 2011 "Missed him by "that" much". Sry,,,,couldn't help myself Clues. And yes I do know this isn't the "caption contest" thread. Haha no apology needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hatethosebruins Posted August 8, 2011 Report Share Posted August 8, 2011 Roseanne Barr is running for president, however it may just be a joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CANADIENS27 Posted August 8, 2011 Report Share Posted August 8, 2011 Roseanne Barr is running for president, however it may just be a joke I would hope so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinot-1 Posted August 8, 2011 Report Share Posted August 8, 2011 I would hope so. I watched her on Leno when she "announced" it. Her platform was so outrageous that nobody could possibly take her seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinot-1 Posted August 9, 2011 Report Share Posted August 9, 2011 Modesto, California Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket Oakland, California Police spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up". Beauty school robbery goes all wrong A Louisiana man had a pretty good plan to get some quick cash. He decided to rob a Shreveport beauty school. Only one problem. The thirty or so women inside didn't want to be robbed. The brainy man pulled a gun on the instructor and demanded money, as well as the purses of the students and staff. The instructor tripped the robber and then a large group of women begin beating the man with curling irons and sticks. The man tried to get away but the women kept pulling him back in so they could beat him some more. By the time police officers arrived, the man was covered in blood and had to be transported from the scene by ambulance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clues Posted August 9, 2011 Report Share Posted August 9, 2011 Modesto, California Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket Oakland, California Police spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up". Beauty school robbery goes all wrong A Louisiana man had a pretty good plan to get some quick cash. He decided to rob a Shreveport beauty school. Only one problem. The thirty or so women inside didn't want to be robbed. The brainy man pulled a gun on the instructor and demanded money, as well as the purses of the students and staff. The instructor tripped the robber and then a large group of women begin beating the man with curling irons and sticks. The man tried to get away but the women kept pulling him back in so they could beat him some more. By the time police officers arrived, the man was covered in blood and had to be transported from the scene by ambulance :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinot-1 Posted August 9, 2011 Report Share Posted August 9, 2011 What do you call a Boomerang that does not come back? A stick. A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the cowboy offered. "On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off or I'll beat the heck out of all of you!" St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?" "Couple of minutes ago." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinot-1 Posted August 9, 2011 Report Share Posted August 9, 2011 A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors,” he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, “Bad food.” They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. “I quit,” he says. “That’s not surprising,” the elders say. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HabsRuleForever Posted August 9, 2011 Report Share Posted August 9, 2011 Very funny kinot very funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinot-1 Posted August 9, 2011 Report Share Posted August 9, 2011 Very funny kinot very funny. Enjoy,,,I love good jokes. marriage is like a game of cards,, at first, all you need is 2 hearts, and a diamond,, Later on, you wish you had a club, and a spade! I wonder if Clues is married? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clues Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 Enjoy,,,I love good jokes. marriage is like a game of cards,, at first, all you need is 2 hearts, and a diamond,, Later on, you wish you had a club, and a spade! I wonder if Clues is married? No, haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FirstStar Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 True story... If you've heard it before, it's cos I've been telling for over 10 years and someone stole it from me. A friend and I were driving up to Drummondville (we use to do this quite often for car parts). For some odd reason, my buddy had something against French cops (specially Quebec's Surete de Quebec-our provincial police), was odd cos he spoke perfect French (his mom raised him in French). Anyways, we get pulled over. One cop to his window, the other to my window (I was a passenger/he was driving). We were definitely speeding, but my friend played stupid and refused to speak French, forcing the cop to try and ask the important questions in English. Well, he asked for all the papers, looking at his license and conditions, he turns to my friend and says (in very broken English), "It say here you are to wear your glasses...", to which my friend replied, "I have contacts!". The cop thought for a second then quickly responded, "I don't care who you know, you still have to wear your glasses!". Well, we both looked at each other and burst out laughing... In case you didn't get that, my buddy was talking about contact lenses and the cop was talking about high level contacts. It didn't end there, he said a few other things in his broken English that sent us into fits of laughter. Finally getting frustrated with our lack of respect (laughing at him), he said to us in a serious manor, "if you don't settleling down and stop laughing at me, I put you in jail and trow away de lock!". Well, that was it for us, I almost soiled myself laughing so hard. Even his partner who was on my side with his flashlight, was laughing as well. He was so embarrassed, that he gave us back our papers and simply took off, without giving us our ticket for speeding. We sat on the side of the road for about 5 minutes, drying our eyes and trying to figure out what had just happened... were we free to leave? Once we figured the police had actually left and were not coming back, we went on our way. I guess that's one way of getting out of a ticket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 Good story FS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FirstStar Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 Good story FS. Thanx. It's actually a true story... I still laugh thinking about it and telling it to people. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FirstStar Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 Haven't had time to go take a picture of it. But there's a Chinese restaurant around here called, "The Ho House". Seriously, they have to get some English speaking people to screen some of these names. There's another one in NDG, that I'd like to share here, but it goes against the rules. Maybe I'll just take a pic of it and let you all figure it out for yourselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinot-1 Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 Haven't had time to go take a picture of it. But there's a Chinese restaurant around here called, "The Ho House". Seriously, they have to get some English speaking people to screen some of these names. There's another one in NDG, that I'd like to share here, but it goes against the rules. Maybe I'll just take a pic of it and let you all figure it out for yourselves. Hilarious FS,,,,ahhh the memories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FirstStar Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 True story... If you've heard it before, it's cos I've been telling for over 10 years and someone stole it from me. A friend and I were driving up to Drummondville (we use to do this quite often for car parts). For some odd reason, my buddy had something against French cops (specially Quebec's Surete de Quebec-our provincial police), was odd cos he spoke perfect French (his mom raised him in French). Anyways, we get pulled over. One cop to his window, the other to my window (I was a passenger/he was driving). We were definitely speeding, but my friend played stupid and refused to speak French, forcing the cop to try and ask the important questions in English. Well, he asked for all the papers, looking at his license and conditions, he turns to my friend and says (in very broken English), "It say here you are to wear your glasses...", to which my friend replied, "I have contacts!". The cop thought for a second then quickly responded, "I don't care who you know, you still have to wear your glasses!". Well, we both looked at each other and burst out laughing... In case you didn't get that, my buddy was talking about contact lenses and the cop was talking about high level contacts. It didn't end there, he said a few other things in his broken English that sent us into fits of laughter. Finally getting frustrated with our lack of respect (laughing at him), he said to us in a serious manor, "if you don't settleling down and stop laughing at me, I put you in jail and trow away de lock!". Well, that was it for us, I almost soiled myself laughing so hard. Even his partner who was on my side with his flashlight, was laughing as well. He was so embarrassed, that he gave us back our papers and simply took off, without giving us our ticket for speeding. We sat on the side of the road for about 5 minutes, drying our eyes and trying to figure out what had just happened... were we free to leave? Once we figured the police had actually left and were not coming back, we went on our way. I guess that's one way of getting out of a ticket. Did you read this one Kinot? Think I may have posted it a few years ago... Either way, still a good story. Hilarious FS,,,,ahhh the memories. I thought it was worth sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinot-1 Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 Did you read this one Kinot? Think I may have posted it a few years ago... Either way, still a good story. I thought it was worth sharing. No,,,this is the 1st I heard of it, but it must have brought back a memory to you FS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinot-1 Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 Did you read this one Kinot? Think I may have posted it a few years ago... Either way, still a good story. I thought it was worth sharing. PC acting up,,,,,No,,,I haven't heard your story before, but I can just imagine how it went down. Darn PC, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clues Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinot-1 Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 Hmmmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CANADIENS27 Posted August 10, 2011 Report Share Posted August 10, 2011 Australian man drive drunk on a motorized cooler powered by a 50cc engine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinot-1 Posted August 12, 2011 Report Share Posted August 12, 2011 True story from Orange County A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no—he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from the party the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house just a block away. The police tell the party animal to stay put, they will be right back—and they run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. X lives there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver’s license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find: the police car, lights still flashing. This is a true story, as told by the driver at his first AA meeting, according to a newspaper account. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinot-1 Posted August 12, 2011 Report Share Posted August 12, 2011 Toronto is getting worse when this kind of stuff happens. I'm sooo ticked off....... I had two Toronto Maple Leafs tickets sitting in plain view on my car dashboard. Some yahoo broke the window................. and left two more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hatethosebruins Posted August 12, 2011 Report Share Posted August 12, 2011 Haven't had time to go take a picture of it. But there's a Chinese restaurant around here called, "The Ho House". Seriously, they have to get some English speaking people to screen some of these names. There's another one in NDG, that I'd like to share here, but it goes against the rules. Maybe I'll just take a pic of it and let you all figure it out for yourselves. Theres one in Hamilton called: Yum-Yum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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