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rosalie52

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Hillsboro, Oregon - A 20 year old burglar falls asleep on the kitchen after ransacking several items for valuables from the home. He was found with electronic devices stolen from unlocked vehicles. He is looking at charges of burglary, attempted theft, trespassing, and criminal mischief.

:lol: Being a crook, is hard work,,,,,,,,doncha know. :D

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Florida - A 23 year driver blames his reckless driving on a hungry squirrel he says was trying to make a meal out him. Police gave him several sobriety tests and a couple of breathalyzer tests which registered .145 and .156. Florida's limit is .08. The driver and the squirrel were released to the driver's girlfriend.

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A Polish immigrant went to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

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Manatee County, Florida - Our lesson for the day. Never serve cold mashed potatoes to a customer. A woman beat up the manager of a Cody's Roadhouse because her mashed potatoes were cold and a credit slip wasn't enough to satisfy her.

it wouldn't have mattered and i would have stopped her but not only were they cold but they came out of a box to boot.

just kidding, but the sentiment is real. :P

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Guest habs1952

A Polish immigrant went to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

:lol: :lol: :lol: I know him too!!! :lol: :lol:

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An oldie but a goodie.

Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later

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An oldie but a goodie.

Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later

Major face palm!

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Guest archey

York County, South Carolina - A defendent punches his public defender lawyer moments after pleading guilty to robbery, drug, and assault charges and getting 15 years. How dumb is that?

that's politics....

long story....don't ask.. :lol:

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From last night on the Tonight Show - A robber while taking cash from a store, noticed a bottle of scotch he liked, but the clerk said he needed ID since the legal age is 21. The robber pulled out his driver's license and the clerk confirmed it. Two hours later, the clerk called police who arrested the suspect at his house. I don't know where this took place.

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