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rosalie52

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A London woman has made headlines after going public with her decision to quit her job because she's too attractive. "The truth is my good looks have caused massive problems for me when it comes to employment, so I've made the decision that employment just isn't for me at the moment," the 33-year-old told the paper.ttractive."

Fernee says despite her qualifications, she was "constantly" being asked out or being given gifts by colleagues.

"Even when I was in a laboratory in scrubs with no makeup they still came on to me because of my natural attractiveness."

Because she's not working, Fernee's parents are covering her expenses including rent, gym membership and more than $2,300 a month in designer clothes.

Bold is mine.

Must be nice to have such stupid giving parents :blink:

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Guest habs1952

Port Angeles, Washington - If you don't like a neighbor's fenceline getting too close to your house, what do you do? This 51 year old man decided to take matters into his own hands by ramming a bulldozer into four houses knocking one off its foundation, knocking down at least one telephone pole, cutting off power to the entire neibhborhood, and destroying a pickup truck. In the words one person, ' he went nuts.' He is looking at chargings of malicious mischief.

I can't believe he missed the fence. :blink:

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Stockton, California - In a case of man bites dog, two robbers get their car stolen at a Burger King while robbing the restaurant. It seems these crooks left the car running and an employee noticed it and hid their car around the corner until police arrived to make the arrest.

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Two nerds are riding along on a tandem bicycle, when suddenly, the one on the front slams on the brakes, gets off and starts letting air out of the tires.
The one on the back says: "HEY! What are you doing that for!?"
The first nerd says, "My seat was too high and was hurting my butt. I wanted to lower it a bit."
So the one in the back has had enought. He jumps off, loosens his own seat and spins it round to face the other direction.
Now it's the first guy's turn to wonder what's going on. "What are you doing?" he asks his friend.
"Look mate," says the rider in the back, "if you're going to do stupid stuff like that, I'm going home!!"
And if you didn't like that one,, here's another.
Two South Carolina rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking through the bushes they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size and depth of it.
The 1st hunter says, “Wow, that’s some hole. I can’t even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is.”
The 2nd hunter says,” I don’t know, let’s throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom.”
The 1st hunter says, “There’s this old auto-mobile transmission here, give me a hand and we’ll throw it in and see”.
So they pick it up and carry it over, and count to three, and throw it in the hole.
They are standing there listening and looking over the edge when they hear a rustling in the bush behind them. They turn around to quickly see a goat come crashing through the bush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.
While they are standing there looking at each other in amazement, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that the heck was that all about, an old farmer walks up.
“Say there,” says the farmer, “you fellers didn’t happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?”
The 1st hunter says, ” Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin’ about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!”
The farmer said, “That’s impossible, I had him chained to a transmission!”
Of course,,,another groaner.
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
:D
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A guy goes into a fancy restaurant and orders the fried sea anemone which had recently been raved about in the local foodie mag. After a few minutes, the waiter returns and says, "So sorry, but we've just run out of the anemone. However, the chef suggests the grilled palm fronds, our special appetizer tonight. They are just browned with a bit of parmesan and lemon on top. On the house, of course, since you really wanted the anemone." The man cheerfully accepts and orders the fronds.

A few minutes after delivering the appetizers, the waiter returns and asks, "And how are the palm fronds?"

The man puts down his napkin and replies, "Delicious! With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

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There is an article in the paper about Justin Beiber buying a ticket to go for a ride in a private spacecraft into outer space. Here are some of the comments at the end of the article.



"We need less space junk, not more.


Well he is a bit of space cadet these days isn't he.


Can we leave him there???


Upon reading the headline, I was hoping he had signed up for the one way trip to Mars.


Would'nt that be returning to space? I heard he was just visiting this planet.


Maybe we can trick him into getting on that other ship. You know, the one going to Mars....


Given his recent behaviour, I thought he was already in space.


He's already a 'space cadet' with his antic's; 'his monkey' and 'his baggy pants', so nothing really new here!!!


Any chance they could push him out an open door and leave him there?


Good. In space, they can't hear you sing


He wishes to become a star.


I thought that was already his permanent address?


thanks for the daily update on the beebs cbc....riviting journalism


And no, you can't bring a monkey Justin.


And now back to the news.


I always though he was from another planet. Is he going back home?


There goes the neighborhood...


I hope for the sake of the human race that he isn't the one to make first contact.


We have a no return policy still don't we????


I think this is an excellent idea... they're not going to bring him back, are they?


I'd like to report a significant factual error in the story.


"The 19-year-old singer who grew up...


Ahh beiber - you were born a space cadet; hopefully you can start Canada's first outpost on the moon and see if you can find any beliebers there.





He's always good for a laugh. :D:lol::lol:

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DOT road worker calling in to the supervisor- Bill hasn't shown up with the tool truck. What should the rest of us do now?

Supervisor- the truck broke down and we're getting another one for him You guys will just have to lean on each other until the shovels arrive....




Three boys were talking about how fast their Dad's are.

The first kids says "My Dad's so fast he can fire an arrow at a tree, run and catch it before it gets there"

The second kid says "That's nothing. My Dad's a bricklayer, he can drop a brick from 10 stories high and run down the stairs to catch it before it hits the ground".

The third boy says" Guys, that's nothing. My Dad works for the county, and he's so fast he knocks off work at 5 and is home by 2:30!"






DIALOGUE BETWEEN A LADY INTERVIEWER WITH A MALE BEER DRINKER:

Lady Interviewer: Do you drink every day?

Man: Yes.

Lady Interviewer: How much a day?

Man: Around 3 six-packs starting at noon.

Lady Interviewer: How much does a 6-pack cost?

Man: Roughly $10.00 at a deli.

Lady Interviewer: And how long have you been drinking like that?

Man: 15 years.

Lady Interviewer: So with a six-pack costing $10.00, and you consuming 3 six-packs a day, you are spending roughly $900 each month. In one year, you would then be spending $10,800, correct?

Man: Correct.

Lady Interviewer: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 on beer, not accounting for inflation, 15 years puts your spending roughly $162,000; correct?

Man: Correct.

Lady Interviewer: Did it ever occur to you that if you did not drink for the last 15 years, you could have bought a Ferrari?

Man: Do you drink?

Lady Interviewer: No.

Man: So, where's your damn Ferrari?





An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replied, "That would be my wife.




Statistically, six out of seven dwarves are not happy.









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Broward County, Florida - After negotiating a plea deal that would have allowed former NFL wide receiver Chad Johnson to avoid the slammer on charges of headbutting his then wife, reality TV star Evelyn Lozada, Johnson slaps his lawyer on the rear end in court. He had pleaded no contest to the original, but when he pulled this move, Johnson got 30 days for not taking court proceedings seriously.

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