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rosalie52

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Albuquerque, New Mexico - A lawyer who specializes in DWI cases enters the wrong courtroom spending 45 minutes and disrupting proceedings. The judge summoned an officer out of concern for his safety when our lawyer stumbled trying to get up. He registered .11 and according to witness accounts, had entered another courtroom under the influence. He was actually scheduled for two cases two floors below and was charged with direct contempt for interrupting proceedings.

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Boynton Beach, Florida - If you don't like getting a traffic ticket, what do you do? This 50 year old woman calls 9-1-1 to complain about the ticket. When told by the officer 'you can't call 9-1-1 just because you're unhappy', the woman retorted ' I'm calling to complain.' She face charges of misusing the system which carry a penalty of up to one year in jail.

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Yesterday, Los Angeles Dodger's Juan Uribe became the latest player to become the victim of the rarely used hidden ball trick when he was trapped off third base. A. J. Ellis hit a bases loaded sacrifice fly ball which moved up all three runners on the throw to home from center field. Tampa Bay firstbaseman James Loney caught the ball behind the mound. He flipped the ball to shortstop Yunel Escobar who tossed it to third baseman Evan Longoria all while no one seemed to be looking. Longoria, who was standing behind Uribe, whom in turn was chatting with third base coach Tim Wallach, waited for Uribe to take his foot off the bag, and then tagged. Umpire Angel Hernandez, who was watching the play unfold, called Uribe out. Hopefully, UTube will have the video.

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This guy's wife was recovering from a terrible illness. He asks her what he can do to brighten her days. She said, "I would love to have a bird that would wake me with its song and chirp me to sleep."

So he goes to a pet shop and finds a parakeet that sings and chirps beautifully. It is very expensive, but he buys it anyway.

He takes it home and his wife is so happy. She asks her husband to set the cage right next to her bed. A few moments later, he hears her scream.

Rushing back in to her room, he asks "What's wrong?"

Pointing to the bird and crying, his wife sobs, "He's missing a leg!"

The man looks and sure enough, the bird is only standing on one foot. So he grabs the cage and drives to the pet store.

He angrily confronts the owner who wanted to know what was the problem.

"You know my wife has been ill and I wanted that bird to help her recover. And I paid top dollar too. You did not tell me that the bird had only one leg and now my wife is upset."

The shop keeper just shrugged, "Did you want a singer or a dancer?"
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As promised, the viedo for the hidden ball trick used by Tampa Bay against Los Angeles Dodgers' Juan Uribe. It is rarely used and reserved for situations when a team will notice an opposing player prone to certain lapses of concentration such Uribe's.

I read about it, and TKS for the video, 27 :lol: ,,, ball is in play,,, keep your eye on the ball.

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Chandler, Arizona - A man who had been arrested for having an open beer in a store tells police he wanted to walk home. Then he changed his mind and stole an ambulence that was in the police parking lot and was arrested outside his home. He also faces charges of theft of transportation, unlawful flight from law enforcement, resisting arrest, and aggravated DUI.

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Murfreesbora, Tennessee - If yoneed help recovering your stolen marijuana who do you call? This 19 yerar old called the police after the safe containing the weed was stolen after a home invasion. Detectives recovered the safe matching the description and brought in a K-9 dog which smelled the odor. The suspect was asked to open the safe which when they found a half pound of marijuana in jars, plastic bags used to redistribution, and $930 in U.S. currency. The suspect admitted the money was his and he sells marijuana for a living.

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Weymouth, Massachusetts - A 25 year old man who was wanted for witness intimidation, larceny, and assault and battery brags to a plainclothes officer he is a wanted man and would probably be arrested and in jail soon. After checking the suspect, the officer was too happy to oblige.

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Guest archey

the most wonderful lady ever and while she's working and the bar is full of patrons rooting for the blackhawks and they're about to clinch the series---- no one proposes to her.

I think it hilarious. :D:D:D:D

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"BEIJING – A zoo in central China has been closed after visitors were outraged to discover its lion was really a bushy and barking Tibetan mastiff.


The dog was not the only fake at People's Park Zoo in the city of Luohe, which tried to pass off other common mammals and rodents as a leopard and snakes, Chinese media reported.


Photographs showed the mastiff with its muzzle poking through the bars of its dingy enclosure. A grimy sign on the cage read "African Lion" in Chinese characters."




They must be hard up for zoo animals. <_<:lol:

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Wonder why you don't see dead penquins?

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ?


Where do they go?


It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life,as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:











"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."


:P:lol:

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Just in Jest

In court the other day there was a case regarding the custody of a small child.
The judge asked the boy, "do you want to live with your mother?"
He replied, "No I don't want to live with her because she beats me!".
The judge then asked, "Do you want to live with your father?"
The boy stated, "No he beats me too."
Finally the judge asked, "where do you want to live"
The child responded, "I want to live with the Toronto Maple Leafs!".
The judge asked, "Why do you want to live with the Leafs?"
The boy exclaimed, "Because the Leafs are nice they don't beat anybody!"

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Guest archey

Falcon Nesting in a tree.

YW6Fufm_zps015e9523.jpg

our falcon was blue. just feel lucky I don't find this whole thing outrageous. :lol::lol: :lol:

the tree in our yard was a cottonwood anyhow. :D:P

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Just in Jest

In court the other day there was a case regarding the custody of a small child. The judge asked the boy, "do you want to live with your mother?" He replied, "No I don't want to live with her because she beats me!". The judge then asked, "Do you want to live with your father?" The boy stated, "No he beats me too." Finally the judge asked, "where do you want to live" The child responded, "I want to live with the Toronto Maple Leafs!". The judge asked, "Why do you want to live with the Leafs?" The boy exclaimed, "Because the Leafs are nice they don't beat anybody!"

:lol: :lol:

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Just in Jest

In court the other day there was a case regarding the custody of a small child.

The judge asked the boy, "do you want to live with your mother?"

He replied, "No I don't want to live with her because she beats me!".

The judge then asked, "Do you want to live with your father?"

The boy stated, "No he beats me too."

Finally the judge asked, "where do you want to live"

The child responded, "I want to live with the Toronto Maple Leafs!".

The judge asked, "Why do you want to live with the Leafs?"

The boy exclaimed, "Because the Leafs are nice they don't beat anybody!"

The joke continues to be recycled.

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That's because the Laffs are a joke.

AHHHHHH, laff jokes :D :

Q: What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

A: They both look good until they hit the ice!

Q: What’s the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and the Toronto Maple Leafs?

A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points.

Q: Why do Maple Leafs fans drink from a saucer?

A: Because the cup's always in Montreal.

Q: Why did the Maple Leafs enforcer retire early?

A: He was ice fishing and got run over by the zamboni!

Q: What do you call 5 Toronto Maple Leafs players standing ear to ear?

A: A wind tunnel.

Q: Why are the Maple Leafs like grizzly bears?

A: Every fall they go into hibernation.

Q: What does a recent high school dropout and the Toronto Maple Leafs have in common?

A: They’re both young, have no goals and no good prospects.

Q: Why do the Maple Leafs suck at geometry?

A: Because they never have any points.

Q: What is it called when a Toronto Maple Leafs player blows in another Maple Leafs players ear?

A: Data transfer.

Q: What do college students and the Maple Leafs have in common?

A: They’ve both finished their year by April.

Q: What do a fine wine and the Toronto Maple Leafs have in common?

A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions.

Q: Why is the Hockey Hall Of Fame in Toronto?

A: It's the only way Leafs fans can get to see the Stanley Cup!

Q: Why did the Post Office recall their latest stamps?

A: They had pictures of Maple Leafs players on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Maple Leafs fan?

A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!!

Q: What is the difference between a Toronto Maple Leafs fan and a pot hole?

A: I would swerve to avoid the pot hole!

Q: What song do Toronto Maple Leafs fans sing before the end of the third period?

A: Nobody knows. There's never any of them left.

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