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rosalie52

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From the Motorcycle forums in a thread that asks "Dumb things women say"

"I had my gym bag in the back of my friend's car.

I was going to leave it, but then decided to take it.
When I asked for the keys, she said that I needed to unlatch the trunk from inside since there wasn't a keyhole on the trunk.
I pointed at the keyhole and asked, "you mean like that one?"
Her jaw dropped, "I swear that I have been driving this car for 5 years and never knew that was there"
In her defense, it was not your standard keyhole, with a chrome ring around the lock, but rather a subtle opening, recessed in a plastic over. Kinda hard to see.
I dated a 30yr old (college degree no less) who asked "I wonder how they got those rocks down there?" as we drove over this river....she actually thought that the city put in the rocks for landscaping!
I was walking behind two girls tonight, one blond, one redhead.
Red: I can't go out in the Sun you know, I'm a redhead.
Blonde: Ohhhh. Why's that?
Red: Gingivitis.
Blonde: Ahhhh. I see.
My wife the other day asked if there was a way to turn down the volume on the fire alarms in the house................
Our former research librarian told me her garage door remote wasn't working anymore. I asked if she tried new batteries. She said, "I don't think it uses batteries."
As we drove down the highway on a chilly day, my ex gf wondered aloud, "I wonder what the windshield factor is today?"
The Ms. is trying to buy snow tires online for her father's car, I emailed her to check the size on the sidewalls:
Where are "the sidewalls" specifically located?
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Ramara Township put a bounty of $100.00 per beaver due to flooding, chewing up docks, etc…..

They discovered that the Beavers were reproducing faster than the results, of the bounty on them.

My theory, is that the Beavers must be of Spanish Descent. Thus: the following Poll:


7:00AM BST 29 Sep 2009

A poll of 15,000 women found that:

WORLD'S BEST LOVERS

1. Spain

2. Brazil

3. Italy

4. France

5. Ireland

6. South Africa

7. Australia

8. New Zealand

9. Denmark

10. Canada
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The BEST laugh you will have all day. :lol::lol:

My wife and I, had tears rolling down our face, as we laughed, Great One, Kinot :D:lol:

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Quiz and Answers


Q: What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

A: They both look good until they hit the ice!


Q: What’s the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and the Toronto Maple Leafs?

A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points.


Q: Why do Maple Leafs fans drink from a saucer?

A: Because the cup's always in Montreal!


Q: Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea?

A: Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.


Q: What does a recent high school dropout and the Maple Leafs have in common?

A: They’re both young, have no goals and no good prospects.


Q: What do college students and the Maple Leafs have in common?

A: They’ve both finished their year by April.


Q: What does a fine wine and the Toronto Maple Leafs have in common?

A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions.
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Quiz and Answers
Q: What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
A: They both look good until they hit the ice!
Q: What’s the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and the Toronto Maple Leafs?
A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points.
Q: Why do Maple Leafs fans drink from a saucer?
A: Because the cup's always in Montreal!
Q: Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea?
A: Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Q: What does a recent high school dropout and the Maple Leafs have in common?
A: They’re both young, have no goals and no good prospects.
Q: What do college students and the Maple Leafs have in common?
A: They’ve both finished their year by April.
Q: What does a fine wine and the Toronto Maple Leafs have in common?
A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions.
Q: What do the Maple Leafs, Raptors, and Blue Jays have in common?
A: None of them can play hockey.
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Q: What do the Maple Leafs, Raptors, and Blue Jays have in common?
A: None of them can play hockey.

Love it, lol :D:P

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Iowa City, Iowa - Another person who should have left the cops out of it. A 57 year old man calls police when he got stiffed on a drug deal. Our suspect was attempting to sell three bottles of prescription medicine to a friend for $1.25 per pill. After calling and getting no response, the suspect called police three more times to see what was taking so long. His excuse? He didn't know selling prescription medicine was illegal. He also admitted smoking crack cocaine earlier and asked police if they wanted to see his crack pipe.

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When it came to planning his wedding, 36-year-old Neil McArdle of Merseyside, U.K., had only one job: to book the venue.

Unfortunately for his fiancée, Amy Williams -- and everyone else slated to attend their ceremony -- he plum forgot to file any of the paperwork required to do so until the big day came.
So, on April 24, with mere hours to go and a fully decked-out bride en route to the venue, the groom-to-be did something drastic to avoid the impending fallout; he called in a bomb threat.
"There's a bomb in St George's Hall and it will go off in 45 minutes," he told a police receptionist from a phone booth, according to the Liverpool Echo. He then put the phone down and went back into the historic building.
Dozens of people were evacuated as bomb disposal units arrived, including the bride and wedding party.
The couple did not marry that day, but are reportedly still together six months on.
Not all is well that ends well, however. McArdle was arrested and charged the day of the incident, and after admitting to the hoax call in court yesterday, now faces jail time.

He will be sentenced at Liverpool Crown Court later this month.

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When it came to planning his wedding, 36-year-old Neil McArdle of Merseyside, U.K., had only one job: to book the venue.

Unfortunately for his fiancée, Amy Williams -- and everyone else slated to attend their ceremony -- he plum forgot to file any of the paperwork required to do so until the big day came.

So, on April 24, with mere hours to go and a fully decked-out bride en route to the venue, the groom-to-be did something drastic to avoid the impending fallout; he called in a bomb threat.

"There's a bomb in St George's Hall and it will go off in 45 minutes," he told a police receptionist from a phone booth, according to the Liverpool Echo. He then put the phone down and went back into the historic building.

Dozens of people were evacuated as bomb disposal units arrived, including the bride and wedding party.

The couple did not marry that day, but are reportedly still together six months on.

Not all is well that ends well, however. McArdle was arrested and charged the day of the incident, and after admitting to the hoax call in court yesterday, now faces jail time.

He will be sentenced at Liverpool Crown Court later this month.

Wow, marriage and character attributes in question, plus Jail time, without seeing her wrath, lol, yet... :huh:

Glad, I'm not in his shoes :blink: how to face everyone else who was in ceremony :o:rolleyes::P:D he will

probably, leave the country, after Jail time ;)

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When it came to planning his wedding, 36-year-old Neil McArdle of Merseyside, U.K., had only one job: to book the venue.

Unfortunately for his fiancée, Amy Williams -- and everyone else slated to attend their ceremony -- he plum forgot to file any of the paperwork required to do so until the big day came.

So, on April 24, with mere hours to go and a fully decked-out bride en route to the venue, the groom-to-be did something drastic to avoid the impending fallout; he called in a bomb threat.

"There's a bomb in St George's Hall and it will go off in 45 minutes," he told a police receptionist from a phone booth, according to the Liverpool Echo. He then put the phone down and went back into the historic building.

Dozens of people were evacuated as bomb disposal units arrived, including the bride and wedding party.

The couple did not marry that day, but are reportedly still together six months on.

Not all is well that ends well, however. McArdle was arrested and charged the day of the incident, and after admitting to the hoax call in court yesterday, now faces jail time.

He will be sentenced at Liverpool Crown Court later this month.

Hmmmm,,,jail time or peeved off future wife???? Tough choice. :lol:

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Why didn't i think of that when i married my first wife?

I just got really loaded and by the end of the day, was married.

I understand fully, I had too much to drink 44 years ago, I thought someone said:

Do you want a drink, I said: I do, and found out the next day I was married.

Now 44 years later, They are mixing the birth control pill with LSD.

So Now you can: Take a trip without the kids. :o:rolleyes:B)

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SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, and then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.

AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows
One of them is a horse

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